As we turn our attention to the ways in which self-compassion manifests (or not) in our lives, there is no better time to become intimate with the doubts that we still harbor. While we may have cleared away some of the more superficially held (mis)understandings about self-compassion during our earliest encounters with the concept, for many of us, that was just a beginning. It is now time to look ever-deeper and begin to become friendly with those misgivings that still constrain our practice. Whether subtle or noisy as a cage of howler monkeys, this commitment to identifying (mindfulness) and tenderly holding (self-kindness) the beliefs that underlie our misgivings is an important preparation for the journey ahead.

• Over the next week, notice where you still struggle with misgivings/doubts about self-compassion up in your daily life. Is it possible, when misgivings arise, to hold what underlies them with the smallest measure of kindness? If you wish, contribute to the discussion post, “Where Do you See Your Misgivings Limit You?“
• Please incorporate Self-Compassion Break in your practice this week. The time is up to you: 5 minutes. 3 minutes. Any amount. When you’re done, do you feel at least a little more loved up? 
• Creative Invitation:  A Self-Compassionate Letter for the Journey. This is a free-writing exercise followed by a self-compassionate letter. If you wish, we can send this self-compassionate letter back to you via snail mail for you to receive when the time is right.

• On Tuesday, May 29, we will be doing the most extraordinary thing in this full life of ours: RESTING. Soaking it all in.  🙂  No class.

• This week’s video recording. Password is K1ndnessR0cks

Optional Readings

• Five Myths of Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff in Psychotherapy Networker article on Misgivings
• Video: Strengthening the Mind Through the Power of Self-Compassion by Paul Gilbert
• Self-Compassion Break (audio version by Kristin Neff)

I invite you to take a moment and pause. Look back over your shoulder and notice how far you have traveled since those early days when life un-taught you self-acceptance. It’s been awhile. And is it any wonder that still, today, we find ourselves learning our way back home to kindness, connection, and acceptance of exactly who we are, as we are? Today, together, we have permission to learn slowly. To surrender what no longer serves us tiny bit by tiny bit. To hold our resistance up to the light and ask it tenderly, “Dear, what do you need right now?” This is a devoted and courageous path. And we are exactly where we need to be.

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Today we re-visited the concept of self-compassion, and the group delivered a rich collection of definitions. Thanks to all.

Self-compassion is perceiving ourselves as human beings, just like everyone else is a human being and has inherent value.

• • •

“Self-compassion is embodied by the image of this newly born baby. Seeing yourself as that innocent being that is entirely deserving of warmth and understanding. That image sums it up for me.”

• • •

“It’s a holding environment for life. It’s expressed by things that you can’t put into words. It’s unconditional warmth and acceptance.

• • •

To get to beyond the “wow” and have self-compassion be integrated, cultivating self-compassion has to be deliberate — making space to deliberately be mindful of the suffering that we have adapted to and accommodated in ways that look effective from the outside world, but that really if you stop for a minute, aren’t that helpful.

• Continue your formal and informal self-compassion practice. If you’re re-integrating formal practice, please try for at least 10 minutes a day, 3 days per week. And if resistance arises, lower the bar for right now and surrender to what you can manage. 5 minutes. 3 minutes. Any amount. Remembering your “why,” which may simply be “Sweetheart, I am here with you. Living is hard sometimes, and you are not alone.” If you have a steady practice already, please continue to practice as usual. And for all, wherever possible, let your practice time be comfortable, ease-full. We’ll move more into this after these foundational weeks of class.
• Creative Invitation: Exploring the Role of Self-Compassion in Your Life Now. Gentle reminder that these periodic CIs are optional; you can dip in and dip out depending on your need to open/close and your schedule. CIs are about the process (and how you relate to what arises), not the outcome. Finally, we will do most of our CI discussions on the discussion boards. However, we will also have a short period of time available for them at the beginning of class. 

• Remember that if you miss a summary and resources, you can always access the lot of them here.

• This week’s video recording: (password is b3autifUL).

Optional Readings

• Five Myths of Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff in Psychotherapy Networker article on Misgivings
• Self-Hate and the Battering Cycle from There is Nothing Wrong with You (pp 63-67) by Cheri Huber, below. Be aware that while Huber’s lens is decidedly Zen Buddhist, it is a thoroughly accessible and lucid peek into how we abandon ourselves time … and how we can work with it (page 90).

As we continue to lay the foundations for our time in the CDP, we explored core values and started the process of creating intentions for our time in the course. How can your intentions for your life be supported by your time in the course? We invite you to continue refining your intention(s) so that when you read them or say them to yourself, your heart says, “Yes! That is the path on which I aspire to travel.”

Julie and Markus, we missed seeing you this week. We’re looking forward to seeing everyone back on April 24.

• You may wish to continue or revisit your self-compassionate paragraph you started in class in regards to your insurmountable obstacle to living in alignment with a particular core value in your life. Feel free to do so this week.
• Allow your intentions exercise to percolate in the background of your mind. Are there any refinements you’d like to make? Once you’re rested with 2-3 intentions for yourself during your time in the class, note these in your journal. We will hold them in our awareness and return to them later in the course. If you wish, you may wish to state your intentions publicly and/or request support in the Discussion Board as an additional support. 
• Please re-take Kristin Neff’s Self-Compassion Scale this week if you haven’t lately. What is true now? Can you enter into this with a spirit of curiosity? Make a note of what arises in your journal, and we’ll discuss next class.
• Continue your formal and informal self-compassion practice, leading with the inquiry: are you making choices which strengthen your foundations for self-compassion as well as your intentions?
• Please begin reading Bill Morgan’s Meditator’s Dilemma.

• If you haven’t already, please take time to visit the Directory. Some great stories and images have been uploaded this week.
• If you feel inspired to bring something physical which allows you to visually demonstrate your support of a classmate, please do. This could include a lovely stone, a small stuffed animal, or some other sacred object. This will be your companion throughout the course. Of course as with most things MSC, this is optional.

• Practice Group: For those who wish to join the MSC Circles of Practice for additional practice between CDP sessions, you have four free opportunities each week. They are all listed here. The application is quick and easy, and you will find it here.  
• If you’re still exploring core values, feel free to reflect on some of the ones offered here.
• Article: As we explore what it means to listen deeply and non-judgmentally as we enter into this course together, we’d like to offer this wonderful article on what it means to really hold space for others.
• Podcast: Tara Brach’s inspired intentions talk, Winds of Homecoming: How Intention Frees Our Heart.