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Conscious Endings: Burning Bowl

What do you need to release?

Burning Bowl for Conscious Endings

Our lives are comprised of a colorful tapestry of beginnings and endings, many leading to one another. At times, we might wish to let an ending slide away without our attention. Because it is painful. Because it was unwanted. Because it reminds us of old pain we may still hold. Perhaps because we don’t feel ready to be with it just yet.

In this Creative Invitation, we invite you to practice consciously releasing something that remains stuck in a dark corner of your heart. To care for yourself all the while. And then to see what arises.

Materials:

  • Journal
  • Pen and a few small slips of paper
  • Lighter or matches
  • A burn-proof surface or vessel (fireplace, campfire, fireproof vessel)

Process:

You can do this alone or with a friend or family member.

Find a quiet, private place. Settle in to your body and your breath.

Call to mind an ending from your life that still sits heavily within you. For example, the loss of a job, a relationship, the failure or end of something you deeply cared about, or perhaps an aspect of your physical health.

Feel and name what it is about this situation that you still struggle with.

Perhaps there is a burden within this loss that you are now ready to release. In a few simple words, write down what no longer serves you about the situation on a small piece of paper. Drop it (safely) into the fire you’ve built and bear witness as the paper burns and goes up in smoke. Noticing and making space for whatever is happening within you during this metaphorical release.

You can do this as many times as you wish, as often as you wish.

Once the ashes have cooled, disperse them in any way that feels meaningful for you, whether into the wind, a body of water, your garden, etc.

Reflection question:

  • What was it like to consciously invite release in this way, through flame and smoke?
  • As you consider this conscious ending, is there some space or inspiration within you for a new beginning of some kind? Please write about this in your journal. What would you like to invite in to your life or create now?

 


While the exact origin of the Burning Bowl ritual is unclear, it has a long tradition in many new thought churches, including Unity and Unitarian Universalist (“Fire Communion”). We want to also acknowledge the fire ceremonies and rituals among ancient indigenous religions which may have been some of the earliest predecessors to the Burning Bowl ritual described here.

A Week of Yin and Yang

Each morning for six days, please choose an aspect of self-compassion to inspire a self-compassionate act for that day. Let the act be simple and manageable. Remembering that the common thread connecting each of these yang qualities is an attitude of caring for yourself.

  • Day 1: Protecting — What self-compassionate act can you do today that embodies the “protecting” yang quality? You might wish to jot down a few specific ideas and try one.
  • Day 2: Providing — What self-compassionate act can you do today that embodies the “providing” yang quality? You might wish to jot down a few specific ideas and try one.
  • Day 3: Motivating: What self-compassionate act can you do today that embodies the “motivating” yang quality? You might wish to jot down a few specific ideas and try one.
  • Day 4: Soothing — What self-compassionate act can you do today that embodies the “soothing” yang quality? You might wish to jot down a few specific ideas and try one.
  • Day 5: Comforting — What self-compassionate act can you do today that embodies the “comforting” yang quality? You might wish to jot down a few specific ideas and try one.
  • Day 6: Validating — What self-compassionate act can you do today that embodies the “validating” yang quality? You might wish to jot down a few specific ideas and try one.

The reflection:

Each day, write a bit in your journal about what it was like to attend to yourself in this way and see whether it inspires new lines of inquiry that ask to be explored.

The Felt Sense of Yin and Yang

•••

“Nothing connects to the moment like music. I count on the music to bring me back, or more precisely, to bring truth forward.”

Dau Voire


Self-compassion can express itself in a variety of tones and orientations. We most often think of it as soft, gentle, internal, soothing (“yin”). But just as often, self-compassion has an external, fierce quality of action-orientation (“yang”) aspect. In this Creative Invitation, we invite you to explore yin and yang aspects of self-compassion from both receptive (listening) and expressive (movement, in this case) perspectives.

Part I

Listening out: Which songs evoke the qualities of yin and yang?

Please spend a little time remembering music that you’ve heard or that you’re curious about. Begin to compile two categories of music: songs that evoke a felt sense within you of the “yin” quality of self-compassion (soothing, gentle, inwardly turned), and the second that evokes a sense of “yang” sense of self-compassion (action-oriented, fierce, outward). Listening deeply and staying connected to the essence of what those aspects mean for you. You may post your selections to the discussion board, or directly to your class playlist. 

Part II

Listening in: What is the felt sense of yin and yang within you?

Exploring the playlists we’ve collectively created below, scan through the music and notice whether there are any songs among them that evoke a particularly strong sense of yin or yang within you. Chose one song from each list and simply pause and BE with the music, listening deeply, being present the quality of the sensations that arise within the body, as well as thoughts, judgements, feelings, or impulses that arise. Notice whether there is a difference between what arises when listening to your “yin” songs as compared to the “yang” songs.

Take a moment to journal your experience of listening inward to these two songs.

You may stop there or journey into movement, Part III.

Part III

Expressing the felt sense of yin and yang through movement

A word about movement to music…

For some, this can feel deeply vulnerable. If this sounds familiar, we encourage you to go easy and start very small. Notice whether resistance or dread pops up. Can you be present with what is, not turning away from your experience? As in all MSC exercises, we invite you to check in with your own needs from the inside > out to discern the most wise way forward for YOU.

Play your two songs again, but this time, allow the body to move as it wishes.

Let any movement be a response to the energy within you. There is no “right” or “wrong.” There is simply movement.

A slow awakening of the muscles, the bones. Listen impeccably to your inner experience. What is it like to embody yin and yang? Let the movement experience unfold exactly as it needs to, for as long as it wishes to.

When you’re finished, turn off the music, pause, and notice the effect within you.


Reflection Questions:

  • Were you able to identify a felt sense of yin and/or yang within as you listened to the music or moved to it?
  • How did you relate with any critical voices that arose?
  • Did anything surprise you about this experience?

 

 

 

The Felt Sense of Yin and Yang

•••

“Nothing connects to the moment like music. I count on the music to bring me back, or more precisely, to bring truth forward.”

Dau Voire


Self-compassion can express itself in a variety of tones and orientations. We most often think of it as soft, gentle, internal, soothing (“yin”). But just as often, self-compassion has an external, fierce quality of action-orientation (“yang”) aspect. In this Creative Invitation, we invite you to explore yin and yang aspects of self-compassion from both receptive (listening) and expressive (movement, in this case) perspectives.

Part I

Listening out: Which songs evoke the qualities of yin and yang?

Please spend a little time remembering music that you’ve heard or that you’re curious about. Begin to compile two categories of music: songs that evoke a felt sense within you of the “yin” quality of self-compassion (soothing, gentle, inwardly turned), and the second that evokes a sense of “yang” sense of self-compassion (action-oriented, fierce, outward). Listening deeply and staying connected to the essence of what those aspects mean for you. You may post your selections to the discussion board, or directly to your class playlist. 

Part II

Listening in: What is the felt sense of yin and yang within you?

Exploring the playlists we’ve collectively created below. (To listen to the full list, you’ll need to have a free Spotify account.) Scan through the music and notice whether there are any songs among them that evoke a particularly strong sense of yin or yang within you. Chose one song from each list and simply pause and BE with the music, listening deeply, being present the quality of the sensations that arise within the body, as well as thoughts, judgements, feelings, or impulses that arise. Notice whether there is a difference between what arises when listening to your “yin” songs as compared to the “yang” songs.


Take a moment to journal your experience of listening inward to these two songs.

You may stop there or journey into movement, Part III.

Part III

Expressing the felt sense of yin and yang through movement

A word about movement to music…

For some, this can feel deeply vulnerable. If this sounds familiar, we encourage you to go easy and start very small. Notice whether resistance or dread pops up. Can you be present with what is, not turning away from your experience? As in all MSC exercises, we invite you to check in with your own needs from the inside > out to discern the most wise way forward for YOU.

Play your two songs again, but this time, allow the body to move as it wishes.

Let any movement be a response to the energy within you. There is no “right” or “wrong.” There is simply movement.

A slow awakening of the muscles, the bones. Listen impeccably to your inner experience. What is it like to embody yin and yang? Let the movement experience unfold exactly as it needs to, for as long as it wishes to.

When you’re finished, turn off the music, pause, and notice the effect within you.


Reflection Questions:

  • Were you able to identify a felt sense of yin and/or yang within as you listened to the music or moved to it?
  • How did you relate with any critical voices that arose?
  • Did anything surprise you about this experience?

 

 

 

Forgiving Others: Telling a New Story

We are able to forgive because we are able to recognize our shared humanity.

—Desmond Tutu


The wisdom inherent in forgiveness arises when we are able to hold our story in more spacious awareness. Our small story makes way for a larger story and a broader perspective. We see that what happened — as personal as our pain feels — was also the result of many interdependent causes and conditions. “My story” becomes “our story” as we begin to see the common humanity between ourselves and the person who hurt us. Jack Kornfield describes this beautifully when he says, “There is an undying capacity for love and freedom that is untouched by what happens to you. And to come back to this, to know its true nature, is the invitation of the work of forgiveness.”

For this exercise, we’ll be considering whether it’s possible to consider the circumstances of an unforgiven situation with fresh eyes, “rewriting” this inner story to include not just yourself, but also the humanity of the person who hurt you.

This exercise doesn’t negate, diminish, or dismiss your pain. It simply brings the potential for a degree of freedom to long process of forgiving by broadening our perspective and recognizing our shared humanity and imperfection.

Process:

  • For this journaling exercise, please choose a situation:
    • that is in the past;
    • about which you still feel moderate anger or hurt with another person;
    • for which you are willing to consider forgiveness.

You will need to choose carefully, because not all situations are ready to be forgiven.

  • In your journal, free-write a fuller version of your story, transmuting it from just the story of “you” to the story of “us.”
  • Remembering that touching the pain is a necessary part of the process of forgiveness. So as best you can, taking care to tend to any difficult feelings as they arise with your self-compassion skills. 
  • Go as slowly as you need to. Perhaps revisit this exercise over a few journaling sessions if you that helps.
  • You may find after completing this exercise that it will be helpful to tell this revised story to a trusted friend, or even a beloved pet.

Reflection:

  • How does the exercise change (if at all) your feelings toward the situation, this other person, and yourself?
  • If you chose to tell your new story to a trusted friend, what was that experience like? The aftereffects?
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