Community for Deepening Practice

Befriend Yourself

Meditation: Loving Kindness for a Loved One

© Christopher Germer & Kristin Neff. Mindful Self-Compassion. April 2016. All rights reserved. Do not duplicate or redistribute.

  • Allow yourself to settle into a comfortable position, either sitting or lying down. If you like, putting a hand over your heart or another location that is soothing as a reminder to bring not only awareness, but loving awareness, to our experience and to ourselves.
  • Bringing to mind a person or other living being who naturally makes you smile. This could be a child, your grandmother, your cat or dog—whomever naturally brings happiness to your heart. Letting yourself feel what it’s like to be in that being’s presence. Allowing yourself to enjoy the good company. Create a vivid image of this being in your mind’s eye.
  • Now, recognize how this being wishes to be happy and free from suffering, just like you and every other living being. Repeating softly and gently, feeling the importance of your words:
    • May you be happy.
    • May you be peaceful.
    • May you be healthy.
    • May you live with ease.
  • You may wish to use your own words to capture your deepest wishes for your loved one, or continue to repeat these phrases.
  • When you notice that your mind has wandered, returning to the words and the image of the loved one you have in mind. Savoring any warm feelings that may arise. Taking your time.
  • Now, adding yourself to your circle of good will. Creating an image of yourself in the presence of your loved one, visualizing you both together.
    • May you and I (we) be happy.
    • May you and I (we) be peaceful.
    • May you and I (we) be healthy.
    • May you and I (we) live with ease.
  • Now, letting go of the image of the other, and letting the full focus of your attention rest directly on yourself. Putting your hand over your heart, or elsewhere, and feeling the warmth and gentle pressure of your hand. Visualizing your whole body in your mind’s eye, noticing any stress or uneasiness that may be lingering within you, and offering yourself the phrases.
    • May I be happy.
    • May I be peaceful.
    • May I be healthy.
    • May I live with ease.
  • Finally, taking a few breaths and just resting quietly in your own body, accepting whatever your experience is, exactly as it is.
  • Gently opening your eyes.

Exercise: Compassionate Movement

© Christopher Germer & Kristin Neff. Mindful Self-Compassion. April 2016. All rights reserved. Do not duplicate or redistribute.

Anchoring

Please stand up and feel the soles of your feet on the floor. Rocking forward and backward a little, and side to side. Making little circles with your knees, feeling the changes of sensation in the soles of your feet. Anchoring your awareness in your feet.

Opening

Now opening your field of awareness and scanning your whole body for other sensations, noticing any areas of ease as well as areas of tension.

Responding Compassionately

Now focusing for a moment on places of discomfort. Gradually begin to move your body in a way that feels really good to you—giving yourself compassion. For example, letting yourself gently twist your shoulders, rolling your head, turning at the waist, dropping into a forward bend…whatever feels just right for you right now.

Giving your body the movement it needs. As poet Mary Oliver said, “You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.”

Finally, coming to stillness, standing again and feeling your body, noting any changes.